"I wish things could be the same , just like they were before and i hate everything, everyone and everything. so please dont tell me everything is wonderful now." Man i miss my life, just chillin with my friends having a kick ass time. but in the end things change and right now it sucks. I hate being controlled by my parents and their rules, i understand its probably whats best for me and i havent actually earned the right to make more decisions. I'm mad that people can take things away, whether its a friend or a smile on my face. I think if something is truly good for you than you shouldnt have to worry about it, If its good then why am i not always happy. Do i have to work at it if i want that feeling again, or am i just missing out on something better? Or did i find something good and im only worried that it will be taken away? If things were the way they were before than none of these thoughts would be going threw my head constantly. Did i get ahead of myself and put myself in this position? has my outlook on things changed? I just want to have fun, i am not ready for love. I just want to stop. Right now i dont know what i want and i dont know if i ever will know. I dont want to give up (just incase u get the wrong idea, in no way am i thinking of sucide, thats retarded) im just talking about maybe changing my life as well.

 Well now about my day, Tday i woke up helped clean the house cause some peeps were coming to look at it, then went to frosty frog with my mom and sister. watched some starsky and hutch in the van while my mom talked to people and then went to the movies with Athena and saw the notebook, it was ok i just knew she wanted to see it. then we ate zaxbys. took her home, then came home smoked a cigar, i bought for my dad over a yr ago, on the lawn mower. after mowing the lawn josh and i went to blockbuster with Luke of course, he gets so many ladies its crazy. he helped me mow the lawn with his toy mower, a lady stopped and said it was cutest thing . he also picked up 2 chicks at blockbuster. Josh lent me a skateboard so at 12 i went out in my underwear and tried to learn a little bit, but im still no good. i watched the gayest movie in the world call "the scheme" with jimmy fallon, seriously never see it. Well im going to Iowa tomorrow to go bike riding i think 500 miles so i will be back on the 31st i think. O i bought the coolest paintball gun from jeremy, a 2003 shcoker with vision eye im so happy i have it, but i dont know if i will ever play with it though.

 Ok well pce out u guys, i was kinda just writing the first stuff that came into my head so if u dont want to then dont take it seriously. and Megan we have to do something before u leave for college.

well i finally know the perfect girl, and her name is Athena. Shes so great and so beautiful, hopefully we get together real soon, Ive never felt the way i do now about any girl. I wish my parents werent making me go to my uncles for 4th of july, id rather spend it with u, Evry thing u do makes me smile and ur always on my mind.

 Everything is going alright in my life right now. Summer swim team is over and work is going alright. Megan we need to go to waffle house before u go off to college and mike u need to come. Joe white water. Went to dinner with will and phil tonight at BEEFS always a pleasure, Except someones girlfriends called like 4x wondering when hed be done eating. Summer is going by pretty fast. Luke is still awesome. I saw dodgeball with athena last sunday, that was a blast. then she came to the  swim meet, which was akward but still fun.  umm for those of who didnt know i got a new phone so 404 234 5979. ok adios i will be back i guess after 4th of july

tonight will and i hung out at publix and i think hes gonna come over tomorrow. Summer is too busy i need some more free time. i dont think im gonna ask nichole out on a date again, cause i want a g/f  b/f relationship and it does not seem like that is what she wants..... with me atleast. I dunno if i miss heather or not, i miss having a girlfriend. having a girlfriend is so much easier than dating especially when the girl ur dating isnt dating other guys, it puts alot of worries and self doubt in ur head. Maybe that sounds dumb and a little selfish, and i understand it all, but its hard when u like the girl. O well all is good, i just wont think about it. Cause caring too much leads to hurt feelings, maybe thats why heather thought i didnt open up enough, because i didnt care for her like i should have. There are a few girls who i really liked and wanted to be in there company all the time, but unfortunately it never works out with them. but i get over them, but its hard to see them again and have ur emotions come back. Megan is really neat but way out of my leauge, so im glad were friends. I wish i was more outgoing my head is filled with what-ifs. Have to go to training at the dwarf house tomorrow, i wonder if rebecca will be there. All the greatest and weirdest ppl come from cherokee high school. I wish i could open my mind but im stuck on all the girls from my past, because i already know them. o well im done typing goodnight

Well i went out to kentucky for red bird last week. That was a load of fun. Shaved my head with brandon on monday, i think i fell through the ladys roof also on monday but i caught myself on the rafters so i was just dangling above her bed. i scratched my biscep doing that and wends i went on trail and brandon and i decided to rock climb and i scratched up my other arm. We played cards alot and fixed the ladys roof. teh food was pretty good. I got a job at the dwarf house. im going to maryland on the 13th. played alot of ultimate frisbee. ok well im tired and thats all i want to say

megan mike wafflehouse soon please